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With the birth of bright, beautiful new year, I’m saying it.

I’m not feeling the New Year buzz.

Boris Artzybasheff1899-1965

Boris Artzybasheff

In fact I feel mired down in a crisis my own indecision helped to create.

Having been working on Survival Pod Issues One and Two for a year now, I have to admit my determination has been challenged over the holidays. My inability to get the Kickstarter project started on time really has had an echoing affect on my progress to date. Release dates have been pushed back, the final edits weren’t complete until after Christmas, and now with the new release date barrelling down on me like a freight train….well you get the picture right?

Choo-Choo Bitch....

Choo-Choo bitches….

Add on the fact that winter sucks every last particle of positive energy out of me just so I can make it through the short, dark days and frigid nights; generally I’m left sitting in front of my keyboard, dreaming about new stories and not really getting much else done.

Of the twelve stories in the collection, three are completely finished and waiting for a final read by my official test subject. A fourth story is about two thirds of the way through the re-write but that leaves eight stories to work on post-edit, get the final read in, format, illustrate, and submit for release at Amazon and Smashwords in Fifteen days.

The mounting work load from the final edit has levied a permanent concrete collar of tense muscles at the base of my neck along with many sleepless night and an almost perpetual headache for my troubles. Quicksand would be kinder…

Image Source: Warner Bros."Blazing Saddles" 1974

Image Source: Warner Bros.
“Blazing Saddles” 1974

Now given that I am an Apgar, who are notorious for our ability to stay in a fight way too long, I have still not resigned myself to the idea of having to push the release date back again. So I keep on chugging through, hoping I’ll hit a wellspring of energy and creativity that will carry me through the next two weeks and on through the finish line.

Word of advice for the aspiring writer in this “new media” age. I have been in the writing game for a long time, the majority of my adult life, trying to find my way in the door; sometimes in the most obscure of ways. I truly believe the birth of this new path on the road of communication and creativity will lead to a new golden age of writing….but don’t fool yourself.

This “new” path to publishing is just as full of hazards and pitfalls as the one that swept so many other writers under the rug for thousands of years. The three essential truths are still the same: If you don’t put in the time, it will fail. If you rush it, it will fail. If it is bad, it will fail.

Who Smothers Brothers 1967

In the words of the immortal WHO: Meet the new boss, Same as the old boss….

The boss is the people you are selling it to.

Yes, it’s easier now to get your stuff out to the public but guess what? If you didn’t put the time in, grind through round after round of editing, and actually have some form of talent; you stories have the same lifespan as that of a Pete Townesend guitar circa. 1968, a.k.a. NONE.

I’ve been down that road, not listening to editors, wasting one’s time releasing before its ready, confusing ambition with talent.

Never again.

Even if I have to grind till there is nothing left but me and the wheel, I will never make that mistake again.