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Things have gotten really weird around here…
I woke up this morning and serenaded my child with my best Strongbadian rendition of “The Cheet Techno” and that was the end of the normalcy.
Mentally, I have chewed my fingers to the knuckle bones about the upcoming book release. Yes, I’m a naturally a neurotic individual but recently it seems every time I turn around, I am confronted by negativity via my chosen path.
Some are completely random.
Like yesterday…I am clicking away on Twitter and find a funny tweet about self-publishing from one of the many successful e-publishing authors I follow. Opening the tweet to favorite, I find this poor guy is being trolled with replies like “If you are self-publishing, than you have to give your stuff away for free!”.
For the life of me, I cannot fathom what could drive a perfectly reasonable individual to sh*t on somebody’s dream, for no other reason than they can. I know the internet is a cold place sometimes but there really wasn’t a call for the trolling, this guy is just trying to make a living. Why harass him for that?
In subtle ways, the negativity has even made its way into my own home.
Old scars tear open and new wounds appeared as the tension of what literally could be the birth or death of my career hangs in the balance. The tension is starting to affect my health again, and despite my relatively young “middle age”, I have to honestly admit I can’t seem to physically rebound as quickly from this dark drama as I once could.
I know the dream doesn’t happen for everyone.
There are billions of souls on this planet that spend their entire lives trudging through the muck and mire only to end up cold in the ground with barely anything to show for their time on this planet.
I don’t want to end up like this. I do not want a lonely little funeral to be the last time someone remembers my name.
I want some Dad to be walking out of a school book fair with his ten year old daughter, stop in his tracks to point at a book on a shelf and go, “You like weird stories, honey? You should really give this guy a shot. When I was a kid, he blew my brains out…”
I just have to stay positive. Despite the crushing mass of a planet who’s life’s blood is negativity, I have to remember life is cyclical and this too shall pass.