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Serious question here. Has anyone else noticed once you reach the multiple edit stage, the pages fly by in no time at all, and what took you six months to create suddenly takes a mere fraction of that time to edit?

Image by Alexandre Duret-Lutz

I’m more than half way through my third edit and I’m starting to question the pace at which I am working. Now this strange time confusion could be because I have done good works in the first and second drafts. The result of which is a clearing of the distractions, allowing the real story I envisioned to rise like a delicately pruned Bonsai tree.

On the other hand, it could be I am tired of working on these same stories and in my boredom am just not seeing the mistakes.

To be honest I am terrified of screwing this up.

Fiction is a hard enough business without sabotaging yourself before ever leaving the gate. I have been down that path once before; it took me over a decade to get back on track from the humiliation of that hastily edited, terribly crafted first novel.

If I turn around and do the same thing now I might as well hang it up all up and go find a job pumping gas. (If I could find one that would give me the job at this point)

Maybe its the upcoming portions of the project that are giving my psyche a right good kick to the pudding? In my down time between editing stories, I have been trying to put the business plan together for post edit and although not complex enough that I couldn’t possibly understand, the next steps are certainly daunting as I venture forth into a world I have little or no experience with at all.

Somethings, like distribution, are easy; although when you first start searching online for the best paths to getting your novel out there, it is easy to become discouraged. Amazon vs Smashwords? Should I put out a physical version? Should I pay a vanity press to publish a run and shlep them where ever I can get a gig?

In my case, some of these things were easy enough to answer. I don’t have the budget to actually run a physical printing and do a publicity tour, so that’s out. Everything else just took a little bit of searching and I found a path that seemed to make sense to me. As long as the E-distribution companies continue to allow it, use all of them.

The part that is giving me the most apprehension is the Kickstarter project. I desperately need the money for a copy editor; like I said earlier, I refuse to put out bad product again, and this is the only way I can figure out to come up with the cold hard cash so that doesn’t happen.

Going on the website to check out the process didn’t make me feel any better, in fact it just made me feel worse. Why would anyone give up a Grand; in this economy, to help me out? I’ve never done anything in my life besides underachieve…

What happens if I hand S.P. off to the editor and they just laugh their ass off at having have found easy money; knowing there isn’t a chance in hell anyone is gonna want to read this dreck?

All these things play on my mind as I pour over page after page.

Then I read this and realized I am just stepping in the footsteps of thousands of other artists; all of which stood at this precipice and shook in their boots just like I am doing right now.

“There’s a trick to being whatever you want to be in life.

“It starts with the simple belief that you are what or who you say you are.

“It starts, like all faiths, with a belief – a belief predicated more on whimsy than reality.

“And you’ve gotta believe for everybody else, too – until you can show them proof.

“If you’re lucky, someone starts believing with you – first theoretically, then in practice. And two people believing are the start of a congregation.

“You build a congregation of believers and eventually you set out to craft a cathedral. Sometimes it’s just a church; sometimes it turns out to be a chapel.

“Folks who don’t build churches will try to tell you how you’re doing it wrong, even as your steeple breaks the clouds. Never listen.

– From TOUGH SHIT
by Kev Smith

I have to stop doubting myself, start believing, and everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.

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