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I don’t sleep really well.

I know I have mentioned this in the past but the longer it goes on, the more of a concern it becomes to me. It affects everything that happens in my world because unfortunately I am one of those people whose whole day is shaped by how I feel in the mornings.

After a night of repeatedly waking up and falling back to sleep as my body tries to dissolve itself from the inside out, getting my mind right and in a positive state is an absolute chore. After a couple of hours the residual pain melts away; soothed by silence, writing, and slowly replaced by the general aches and pains of everyday middle age, my mind clears but the mental stain of exhaustion lingers.

It is these small signs of impending doom, sharp stabbing pains that breach the wall between the invincibility of youth and ones own delicate mortality that drive me. “How much longer do I have to beat the odds?” or “How many more productive years will I get?” have started to replace thoughts like “Many writers don’t gain real literary success until their thirties…” or “I’ve got a novel in there somewhere, I just need a little more time to figure it out” in my mind.

If you have had some success; either online publishing or with a physical publishing house, then you have a completely different set of problems. That terrifying pressure of never finishing anything of worth, or seeing the project all the way through to the end has been banished from your life, only to be replaced with a new and fearsome adversary: Following up on your success…

Oh how I dream of that moment…I do not, however, deny it has its own unique set of troubles and tribulations. I am not at that point yet and try to only write about what I know, so we will have to leave that conversation for a later date.

On a brighter note, I have noticed that the influx of visitors to this site is slowly changing. More readers are making here it because of phrases like “Struggling Writer” than some random picture I used to illustrate a post six months back and that makes me happy.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that anyone can find a reason to come here; that’s why I go looking for the pictures that I put on the blog, but it is far more gratifying to know that other writers can see they are not alone.

That having been said; I read every comment, email, twitter, and facebook post. So if you need a place to get it out, let it roll brothers and sisters. I will do whatever I can to help, even if all you need is someone to hear your voice and see your words. : D

Future plans: I have been thinking about the blog a lot and I think it needs a little more love and affection. So I’m going to try to post a little more often from now on. Right now I have my mind set on posting Monday mornings, I will do my best and see how it goes.

The Short Story Book: S.P. is still in first draft mode. Having a real difficult time finishing out the stories because in my mind the individual voices of each character seem to melt together into one voice when I work on too many things at one time. Am hoping this is just a writer thing and when someone actually sits down to read the book each individual rings true.

Caught something a couple weeks back on the TOR newsletter about a prolific short story writer (wish I could remember his name) who only gives himself a week to complete each story he works on in first draft. By writing everyday at the exact same time of day and a setting a reasonable word count, he manages to finish some really great work. I Think I’m gonna try it now that spring break is over and my daughter is back in classes.

Am in a small panic about recovering the original cover art off my dead computer. It took me quite a bit of time to actually create it, looks awesome, and really don’t want to lose it.

Comic Book Project: Still on hold, don’t have the guts to start a KickStarter project around it. Don’t know if it’s the fear of rejection or acceptance that keeps me from pushing forward.

Into another week we go dear friends…What will you do?

Will this be your time to shine?

Can you defeat your dragon and ride?

We can always hope…right?