I’m not a very confident individual, never have been. Yea sure, I put up a brave front, my daughter thinks I could pull the moon from the sky if I really wanted to. In reality I’m a pretty meek individual with way too much time on my hands and I am eating my guts out here.
I don’t know how to proceed with this mighty quest set in front of me. I think its pretty obvious I will not be meeting my goals for this project, and the thought of failure one more time is killing me.
My brain is screaming at me to forget this fantasy, shut down the blog, stop tweeting, and grow up. Go get another shitty job just like every other person I have ever known, accept my mediocrity, forget dreams of being artistic, sell my soul for dollars that will barely cover the bills that continue to stack up. “You’re almost forty loser, give up the childish dreams” rolls around in my head like a mantra.
I want to cry.
I am crying.
How do they do it? How did Master Poe survive for so long on nothing?
I just want my shot, is that too much to ask?
Enough feeling sorry for myself publicly, this is embarrassing.
Not as if anyone is reading this, so why do I care?
This song is the only thing keeping me going this morning…